


startling with each step

by tingxing



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Gen, M/M, OT12 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-15 14:10:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7225522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tingxing/pseuds/tingxing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Waking up in a world so different yet at the same time so familiar all at once is confusing. Relearning everything that you though knew. Adjusting to a life that is not your own. Developing feeling for someone is the last thing Do Kyungsoo need in this confusing world. The only thing he can do is avoid him like he is the black plague.</p><p>What happen to his best friend? The demure and quiet Jing Xiu is replace by a split fire that is too hot to handle. one moment he is polite and modest the next moment he is one of the most sassy sob to ever exist. Kim Jongin is confuse yet intrigue. Went Jing Xiu begin to avoid to him, you bet he will find out why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We are one

**Author's Note:**

> mianmian-Kris personal nickname for Suho (Jīn janmian).  
> jiaheng- suho is the only person allow to call Kris by his birthname, li jiaheng.  
> They only use the nickname went they are alone and only with each other and no one else.
> 
> Pairings I will add as the story process.  
> Rating may or may not change.
> 
>  Thank you for reading.  
> Thank you to the ones that leave a comment.  
> This is the first time I have decided to write a fanfic.  
> so I am pretty new at this.  
> thank you once again. m(_ _)m
> 
> thank you Illeana for being my beta (chapter 1-3)  
> thank you emeraldgreen555 for being my beta.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we are one is Exo motto. Is the intro that they all say at the beginning and at the end. Now with their future as a group in jeopardy. Suho is at loss what to do. Everyday is like walking on eggshell and not knowing which step to take is the hardest. Having to deal members that have gone on hiatus and come back is the least of his worries. Can Exo truly be one, went behind close doors that they are slowly but surely cracking like the clay that have been left in the sun for too long.

Kyungsoo woke up to a rather annoying beeping noise and a familiar face that he had not seen in a long time. Why is dui zhang here? Did he not leave them without a backward glance, not even a goodbye? Not that he was bitter about it. Not at all. But…what is he doing here? What is going on? And why does his head hurt? Seriously it was like monster truck was rolling through his brain at 70 mph. What is that beeping noise that literally never stops beeping? Suddenly dui zhang spoke, but Kyungsoo cannot make out what he is saying. “Soo…Kyungsoo….D.O….Jingxiu” dui zhang seemed to be speaking in hazy fragments Kyungsoo tried to piece together. Why is diu zhang waving his huge hand in my face? Im not blind. Kyungsoo makes a move to grab at it and misses. Why does his hand and arm feel like liquid? Why is there so many strange tubes and wires attached to his arms? Why, why, WHY?

Suddenly the taller male look really worried. ‘Why are you frowning’ Kyungsoo wanted to ask. But instead the other male spoke over him, asking “are you ok?” Kyungsoo opened his mouth to say he was fine but it took him all of 30 seconds to realize no sound came out. His throat is dry like the desert. It was then that he felt something cold and small, icy and smooth on his tongue, melted in his mouth and trickling down his throat like plants taking water on a hot day.

Dui zhang wave his hand in his face again. Kyungsoo let out a distorted almost silent giggle, making another attempt at grabbing it, and this time succeeding. With a smile, Kyungsoo begin playing with the hand, something solid in an otherwise hazy world. Dui zhang… he sighed…. I miss you and your angry bird eyebrows.

****************

Earlier in the day

Kris was dozing on and off in an uncomfortable hospital chair that is made for someone much smaller than him and his lengthy limbs. Huffing out in frustration, a chair make for sitting not sleeping, he supposed. You think hospitals might have learned by now. Still, it will have to make do until Jing xiu wakes up from his… sleep. No, he should call it what it really is, coma. His medically induced coma. Thank god that it is him sleeping in this uncomfortable chair and not Jongin or Yixing. Both of their backs were bad enough as it is after performing, there was clearly no need to make it worse. And yet, when Jongin’s face floats into his mind, Kris doesn't know what to do.

He was at a high point in his career, and at a loss as a leader. More prominent than anything he felt like he had failed at protecting his members. It was then that he felt someone place a, or at least what he think is a coat over him. Looking up to see the face of his would be savior he is greeted by his fellow co- leader. The one man that everyone says is some sort of oddly masculine (and rather good looking if he did say so himself) mother of this crazy group of boys.

Suho silently turned the handle on the door. Shimmying himself through the tiny opening, a silver of a gap really, but just wide enough for him to slip in undetected and silent. He did not want to disturb the sleeping giant that is currently sitting in a way too small chair. The only time the other male even looks at rest is when he is caught sleeping and unaware. Suho stares at him fondly, unable to help himself.

Taking Kris’s discarded jacket in his hand, he laid it on top of him. It was only after he’d finished his task that Suho found himself staring into pair of blood shot eyes when he glanced upward. “Sorry, I did not mean to wake you.” Suho told the once sleeping mass of a man.

“You didn’t. Was just dozing is all….” Kris said gruffly, kicking out his legs and running a hand through his hair as if that would shake away the remnants of sleep.  
‘‘How is Jing Xiu doing?’’Suho worried his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Well, doctors say Xiu is no longer in a medically induce coma, he should be waking up sometime between today and tomorrow.”  
At this Suho batted Kris’ own hands away to comb his fingers through the other male’s hair.

“Have you eaten today, hydrated, or go out to get some fresh air?”  
‘‘I went to the hospital canteen, to get coffee and food. I want to be right here, in this very spot, just in case Kyungsoo wakes up.’’ Kris let out a sigh of irritation, knowing better than to comment on Suho’s nagging. Sometimes Suho sounds so much like his wife is not even funny. If he were honest though, Kris didn't hate it, in fact he maybe sort of secretly loved it. He can only hope one day his wife is as beautiful as gentle and as sweet as Kim Junmyeon. Then he would truly consider himself a one lucky man. Unlikely though that God would place to such angels on Earth. So he’d have to deal.

He grabbed Suho by the wrist and gave it tug. Surprise, Suho merely peered down at him and gave him a knowing and gentle smile.  
“Ya, Wu Yifan, you are such a big baby sometimes, I swear. I cannot believe that our company gave you the cold city guy image. I think it have gone to your head.” Sitting down on the taller male’s lap, he felt Kris wrap his arm around his waist and buried his head into his shoulder. Suho tried to control his breathing, which he managed with more than a little effort. Suho leaned back on Kris’ chest.  
“Comfy?” Suho murmured his question softly.  
“Yes.” The other male’s answer muffled by the soft fluffy fabric of Suho’s sweater

“You smell really nice. What did you use?”  
“Not telling you.”  
‘‘Come on…’’  
‘‘Okay, how about this, I will tell you if you answer MY question.’’  
‘‘Fine.’’

Kris let out a sigh, wondering where this was going. suho hated having to ask the questions, but he has to know, has to hear Kris answer.  
“Jiaheng” Suho feels Kris tense up for a second before finally relaxing. “What if Kyungsoo never wakes up from his medically induce coma, but instead falls into… a real coma?”  
Kris waits for Suho finish gathering his thoughts. “What are we going to tell Jongin?”  
At this Kris simply hugged Suho tighter. ‘‘I don't know, mianmian. Seriously, I really don't know. It’s bad enough, that Jongin already blames himself for what happened. ’’ Kris nuzzles his face back into Suho’s sweater. He’s not sure but he thought heard Suho softly say ‘but is not his fault’.

‘‘Mianmian, seriously though, you smell really amazing.’’ It was then he felt the sharp jab of an elbow into his ribs.  
“Ouch! Ya, that hurt.” whined Kris.  
“Yeah, well, that’s what you get for trying to change the subject.”  
Kris let out a sigh. ‘‘We better pray for Jongin’s sanity and let us hope he won't do anything stupid.’’  
‘‘Is that all we can really do?’’ Suho asked. Instead of answering, Kris nodded his head solemnly.

“Mianmian…”  
“Yes?”  
“We all know it wasn’t his fault, even Jongin knows that, logically speaking. However, it does not stop Jongin from blaming himself each day Kyungsoo does not wake up. Or for what happened. Emotions are….kind of funny that way I guess. ”

Suho will never forget that day, the day that left a company in scandal and under investigation. A scandal that left 2 artists in a medically induced coma due to severe head injury. Countless others with minor to critical injuries. Not to mention, all the therapy for the shell shocked artists. Most worrisome of all is, that all the artist contracts and renewals were up in the air. The rumor mill and speculation is spreading like wildfire and they were powerless to stop it. Like that current rumor that contract label-mate Shinee is in negotiations with JYP entertainment. But Exo….Exo’s future is unsure.

They have survived so many setbacks, rumors that a member is leaving countless of times, sasaengs following them 24/7, 365 days a week. This left little to no personal time or privacy for each other or for their families. They stuck together; changing numbers after numbers, so that for a brief moment in time that they have an illusion that this will be the last. Even if that illusion is shatter in less than 24 hrs later, they still hung on. To their fans, and to each other.

Even with three members on hiatus from the group. which left a gaping hole in the heart of their fandom, and only nine active members. They survived. They are Exo. They had been breaking records left and right. Even creating new records and breaking them, with each comeback. They’d won numerous amounts of awards, both solo and together. It does not matter if they are nine or twelve. They will survive this round of rumor and speculation. They will come back stronger than ever and they are staying together no matter what the rumor mill say or how crazy the speculation get. Because when Exo is together, nothing can stop them. That was what Suho cling to. For now and for always.


	2. Fall from grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A angel have fallen from heaven, numbing his pain with alcohol. Kim Jongin inability to deal with the reality he might loose best friend, Do Kyunsoo. Byun Baekhyun mouth have once again get him in trouble this time from the look of it his luck have run out. but who is the savior that safe him from getting beaten. no one say taking care of someone in a wheelchair is easy, for Kim Jongdae taking care of him is the easiest things in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credited to illeana for being my beta for this crazy idea of mine.

“You know, you are only torturing yourself like this. Jing Xiu is not going to wake up any faster.”  
The dark skinned male, currently trying to catch his breath, glares up at the puppy eyed male speaking so plainly.  
“What do you know?” he spits back at him. “This is not your best friends that is…”yet somehow he can’t bring himself to say the words. Instead he responds with: “Fuck you, Byun Baekhyun. You wouldn’t understand. No one does. ” With that he gets up from his star fish like position, bending over, hands on knees to feel the sweat dripping from his face, still trying to catch his breath.  
At least he’d breathing on his own.  
Baekhyun walks over to his friend, but unlike before where he looked like someone trying not to spook a wounded animal, he’s got this predatory gleam in his eye. “Yah, Kim Jongin, say it. Say the words.” When Jongin does nothing, going as far as averting his gaze rather pointedly to the floor, he continues with a disbelieving chuckle. “Why you cannot say it, huh?” At this point Jongin can feel Baek’s eyes boring into the side of his head, merciless and unforgiving. “Say it, Jongin. Kyungsoo is in a coma. Just say it, I promise it’s not that hard. ”  
Jongin is still trying to catch his breath after the grueling and insane dance practice that he put himself through, grasping onto his uneven breath as an excuse not to answer his friend. He can hear Baekhyun walk over to him, hands in his pockets like he doesn’t have a care in the world. After hearing what Baekhyun had to say, Jongin clenches his fists in anger, feeling his blood boiling.  
The audible swallowing sound the smaller male made ought to have satisfied Jongin, but it hadn’t. Baekhyun began to back away slowly, hands dropping from his pockets and Jongin grinned to himself, a bitter smile. It was like he had provoked a bear. When he realized Jongin was glaring up at him through fringe of his bangs like some mad man, he realized he had likely, once again, gone too far.  
“L-look, glaring at me, or even hitting me, is not going to solve anything.” His voice sounded small even to his own ears but it was that moment Jongin started charging at him like a raging bull with his fist raised.  
“Oh shit.” Baekhyun whisper. This is it, he thought. The day I get murdered. So, resigned to his fate, he closed his eyes and braced for impact that was sure to come.  
Baekhyun dared to crack his left eye open a bit, when he felt nothing. No pain from the punch or jarring impact from hitting the floor. But he was not the one that got hit. The one that took the punch for him, is currently laying on the floor with a busted lip and cheek that is turning red from the punch.  
He could only watch, stupidly as his savior moved his jaw around to make sure it’s not broken, rubbing at the site of injury. Wincing in pain went he realize his lip is cut. He then wipes at the blood on his lip with the back of his hand, only succeeding in smearing it.  
“What the fuckin’ hell Jongin? What the fuck are you doing? Attacking your members now? Have you lost your fucking mind? ”

“Kris warned you, he fuckin warned you to stop it. One of these days you’re put one of us in the ER because you can’t control your temper and you best believe the media will get wind of it.”  
“Is that a threat?”  
“Good luck explaining it to our fans and the media outlets why the hell one of us is in the hospital.” Baekhyun widen his eyes in shock when he finally realizes just who his savior is.

*********************

The young girl widened her eyes, when she spies what is most likely a giant. She had to stretch neck up to just to see the whole of him. Funny, the giant looks so eerily familiar. Wait a minute, it cannot be…can it? The big brown eyes, ears that are way too big so that they stick out at odd angles. Oh hell no. By the time she realize who it was she just saw, the giant man had left the store with a jingling of the shop bell.  
“Oh my god, I think I just saw Park Chanyeol from Exo.”

“Hullo, hmm, yes, I got your boyfriend honey butter chips.”  
“Oh, no, please, don’t misunderstand, he is not my boyfriend.”  
“Are you sure, Chenchen? I mean the way you hover over him, take care of him, make sure he has been fed...”  
“Go to hell, Yoda.”  
Chanyeol let out a chuckle when Jongdae call him that. “I will see and talk to you later as I am at my car now. I want to get in before I got spotted by one of our beloved exo-l’s. Thanks for staving off the boredom.”  
Chanyeol hears Jongdae hang up with a rapid click. He takes one look at his cell wallpaper and a gentle smile full with love and fondness that appears that he can’t hold back. Gently caressing the picture, he still thanks his lucky star that got to work with and be a friend with an angel.

Closing his phone and putting it in his kangaroo pocket, he fishes out his car keys, and lazily puts the grocery in the back along with 2 boxes of honey butter chips that he manage to find with a stroke of luck. Even after the craze for the chips is over, they are still pain in the butt to fine. The things he does for his friends.  
As of right now, their future as a group is unknown. They have no idea what their future holds. With the company being under investigation and their group on hiatus until Soo’s condition is stabilized. With their main dancers out, one recovering from minor injuries and another one quick on his way to becoming what is essentially a border line alcoholic.

That is actually one of the reasons alcohol is forbidden in the dorms. The last thing they need is tabloids getting wind of that Kim Jongin, aka Kai, the main dancer of Exo, has become somewhat of a booze connessiuer. They are still trying to locate where the hell Jongin hides his alcohol. When they walk into his and Soo’s shared room there is always, literally always, empty soju bottles laying around. It’s not even just one or two, that wouldn’t be so bad, but a dozen of them lay scattered around the room. They even had to call Taemin up and tell him not to buy alcohol for Jongin, no matter how much he might beg. It’s kind of sad how bad things have gotten.

Chanyeol plugs in his phone and starts the car, BTS Butterfly blaring out from the speaker to soothe the nerves. ‘I have to call up Taehyung and tell him to take Baekhyunnie to a movie or something’ he thinks to himself.  
Baekhyun means well, usually, but Jongin being so volatile and unpredictable, is just recipe for disaster waiting to happen. Not to mention Kris has threatened Jongin on more than one occasion already.

As he drives away from his parking spot, before he can head home, he has to drop by the Incheon Airport to pick up their “guests” arriving from china.

***********************

When Jongdae opens the door to the room he was walking to, he can’t help but let out a smile at young man that is sitting in front of his mac. Putting down the tray that is laden with food and drinks, a feat amazing in and of itself, he goes to greet him. Normally, they eat their meal outside on the dining room table, like one big happy family, but due to inconvenience of moving the wheelchair in and out of the bedroom and a certain someone refusing to use crutches, saying using it “hurts his armpits and is too cumbersome to move around with, they bought a small round table that can easily pack away went is not in use instead.

The short male let out a small huff and soft pout forming when he realized the noise of the putting tray down and the smell of food did not rouse the young man from whatever he is doing, so he walks over to the other male and gently places his hand on his shoulder to get his attention.  
“Yixing, is time to eat. I have make curry omlette with rice since I noticed your appetite have been lacking lately.”

Yixing felt a hand touch his shoulder gently, looking up he gave Jongdae a beautiful dimpled smile.  
“Sorry, Chenchen. I didn’t hear you come in.” he took hold of the hand and give it a small kiss of apology.  
Rolling his chair backwards and turn it around headed to the table.  
“Have you eaten yet?”  
“No, I have not.”  
“Then we will share. How’s that?”  
Yixing scoop bit of rice with curry and egg feed to Jongdae with an impish smile. “Does it taste good?” Jongdae gives an embarrassed nod and a small smile.  
“You eat though, Yixing. I cooked it for you.” he took scoop of rice with curry and egg, mimicking the taller male’s earlier actions, essentially spoon feeding the other male like some cheesy drama lead.  
“Hmm, your cooking is getting better, Chenchen.” Yixing supplies and Jongdae can’t refrain from blushing a bit at the compliment but accepts it graciously before continuing on in a rush.  
“Here have some soup too.” At this Yixing halts, inquisitive by nature.  
“What soup is it?”  
“Buddha Temptation.”  
Jongdae answers, picking up the small bowl of soup and feeding some to Yixing, who looks skeptical.  
“Good?” He asks when Yixing finally gives a thumbs up in response, swallowing down the soup in a gulp.

************  
Not long after Jongin left the practice room. Baekhyun savior has fallen to floor once again. Partly from relief he does not have to fight one of his best friends and partly he is in a lot of pain.  
“Fuck that hurt.”  
Baekhyun let out gasp, when he finally realizes who is his tall and dashing savior is. Running over to the figure that has once again fallen to the floor. Cupping the man’s face and upon closer inspection, he let out a scream. When that was finished he was reduced to nothing more than letting out a little choked sob of his savior’s name. Then he broke down and start hysterically crying and screaming,  
“CHANYEOL, WHY?”  
The sound of running footsteps drowns out the sobbing of one Kim Jongin, who is clutching a black sweater, smothering his face in it as if to absorb a smell that is barely clinging to the fabric and bury himself in it. The cry is heart wrenching enough and it let’s the entire world know that the very same Kim Jongin is so very much broken.


	3. I will protect you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protecting someone that you love sometimes at the risk of your own safety. for some is price they willing to pay, for others is a price that too high and is not worth it. 
> 
> went chanyeol first met baekhyun he say he will protect him he mean it. for baekhyun seeing the one he care about to getting hurt like this is not worth it.   
> the reason why jongin drown himself in alcohol is reveal.   
> the fight that jongin start, what is the consequences? how will the others handle the aftermath?  
> who is the guest that visit the dorm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gin-ge ge is kyungsoo private nickname for jongin. Yes I know kyungsoo is the older than jongin.  
> xiu-er is jongin private nickname for kyungsoo, which is his chinese name. 
> 
> thanks illeana for being my beta.  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/Illeana

“Seriously, Chanyeol is right. They do act like a couple.”  
“Yes, like a happily married couple.”  
They watch as Jongdae pours soup into an empty bowl and pick up yet another spoonful and feed it to Yixing in an almost nauseatingly sweet way. Jongdae murmured quiet words into Yixing’s , to which he gives a thumbs up and an adorably dimpled smile. They simply watch in awe as the taller of the two took a napkin, and gently dabs at Jongdae’s seemingly messy mouth.  
The guests stand at the door, unable to speak in fear of interrupting the loving, heartwarming scene of someone taking care of their little injured lamb.

“You know we really should announce our presence.” A throat clears quietly and just he opens his mouth to speak, a scream rips through the air, stilling the hand poised to knock on the already open door. All figures froze wondering just what the hell that was. 

*************

Jongdae is opening a can of Chilsung cider, when the scream suddenly pierced though the air. Both he and Yixing look at each other in a mixture of shock and surprise while simultaneously wondering where the sound had come from.   
“That…that sounded like Baekhyun…didn’t it? But that’s impossible yet the scream seems to be…” Jongdae began, trying to reason himself through it all.   
“…coming from the practice room. You’re right.” Yixing finishes, a look of concern mirroring back the same look on Jongdae’s own face.  
“Come on let check and see what is happening.” Yixing urges and is already rolling away before Jongdae can scoot out from behind the table.   
This explains how he is the first to notice their guests standing by the doorway, catching a nervous flash of movement.  
“Xiao Zhu-ge, Shifu, Hong Lei-ge…. what are you guys doing here?”

“Oh, uh, sur……prise?” show give a unsure smile.  
“We will tell you why we are here, after we figure out who is screaming.” Huang lei pointed in the direction of the scream, an urgency in his tone that couldn’t be ignored.  
“Well, we’re pretty sure we know who is screaming, we just need figure out why.” Jongdae pipes up.

************* 

“Baekhyunnie…?” Chanyeol pokes his head through the crack in the door to peer into the bedroom they share. He was about 90% sure he heard Baekhyun’s voice coming from the practice room.   
‘What is he doing in the practice room? I thought he’d will be playing LoL in tour room. It’s about his raid time…’ He opens the door to the practice room, greeting the presumed occupant with an excited "Baekkie look what I got you?”  
Well that is until he looked up to see Jongin running toward Baekhyun with his fist raised high, ready to strike the fearful looking Baekhyun. What happens next Chanyeol is only vaguely aware of, but he imagines that he dropped the gift he was holding and ran to Baekhyun, diving before him just in time to catch Jongin’s fist as it was about to collide with his face. The force of the blow as much as the surprise that Jongin would lash out in such a manner had caused Chanyeol to land hard on the ground, on his right side. And then he was in pain, a terrible, swirling, and bruising, world of pain. Pain that could only be the result of Jongin actually punching him and this not being some crazy messed up day dream. Having his breath knock out of him from landing on the hard floor, he was quite put out if he were honest.

The whole ordeal has Chanyeol glaring up at Jongin through his now messy bangs. First he had to assess the damage, so he made sure to move his jaw around to ensure that the blow from Jongin did not break his jaw or knock any of his teeth loose. He nearly cried in joy finding most of his jaw in pain but he winced in pain when he realizes he does at least have a nasty split lip, which was bleeding profusely. He tried wipe the blood off with the back of his hand, but that only resulted in smearing the blood all over his lip making it look worse, if Baekhyun’s traumatized face was anything to go by. Though to be honest Baek looked a bit frozen…in shock. 

The look on his friend’s face is enough to spur the tallest male to action and so, channeling his anger Chanyeol gets up to his feet in haste and grabs Jongin by his shirt front, fingers gripping the fabric so tight his knuckles are turning white.   
“What the fuckin’ hell Jongin! What the fuck are you doing? Attacking your fellow members now? Have you lost your fucking mind?” he shoves Jongin out of his face. He watches with an odd sense of satisfaction as Jongin stumbled back from the force of his shove, almost landing on his ass.

Chanyeol is beyond livid at this point, allowing the anger he feels to fuel him more than any sympathy he might feel for younger male. He knows Baekhyun is still filming, therefore, the last thing Baek need is showing up looking like he got into a bar fight. If media and fans will get wind of things not being as rosy as they once had, despite the tragedy. No, such talk will only fuel the rumors and the chances of Exo disbanding.  
“Kris, fucking warned you… he warned you to stop it. One of these days if you put one of us in the ER you can bet your ass the media will get wind of it. Good luck explaining to our fans and media outlets why the fuck one of us is in the ER, because I refuse to cover up for you.”

****************

“I didn't start anything. HE is the one that won't shut up.”

Jongin nods his head toward the frozen figure, the one that is still in shock over what has just transpired. “You know, normally I don't mind his fucking mouth... but not today.” Jongin said with a shake of his head and a sad smile. It was tad sadistic really. So, with that, Jongin stalked out of the practice room, determined to put some distance between him and the situation. 

Reaching his destination, Jongin closes the door to the room that he share with his best friend. The room is full with their memories, old and new, they flood him in a sea of guilt and nostalgia. He walks over to his bed only to collapse dramatically on top of it. It sounds silly but he can’t help but burrow his face into his pillow, hoping to find a trace of a familiar scent, HIS scent, and his lavender scented shampoo. Sadly the scent he hopes to find is no longer there, it has long since faded in the staggeringly empty days and weeks that have gone by with him having showing no signs of regaining conciousness. Turning over to stare at the ceiling and tears start falling, unbidden by Jongin, but he’s unable to contain them. He will never forget that day….the day that became known as the fateful reminder of how his best friend was so brutally torn from him. 

**One minute they are talking and laughing and the next he felt someone shove him from behind. He turns around in a small flash of anger to see who dared to push him. Yet to his shock and horror, he sees his best friend falling, weightless, and soon he is clinging on to the ledge, holding on to it like his life depends on it, knuckles turning white with fear evident in his large brown eyes.

In desperation, Jongin runs toward him and grab at his clammy hand that was clinging on to the ledge with the strength of his fingertips.   
‘Give me your left hand.’ He instructs, unable to keep the nerves out of his voice.  
‘I can't Jongin.’  
‘Just try…please?’  
Jongin watches him in horror, unable to do more, as he tries again and again to try bring his left hand to Jongin’s grasping one, each time failing and falling back to his side, useless.   
‘I’m slipping. I cannot hold on much longer.'  
‘Yes, you can Siu-er. You’re a lot stronger than you think, you know.’

Jongin can feel their hands growing more slick with sweat, making things slippery, harder to hold on to. Suddenly, before he could even process what was happening, he felt the other male’s hand slip from his. Yet Jongin is scrambling to grab a hold of his hand and this time he manages to grab hold of his wrist.   
‘Please….please don't let go, Siu-er.’  
‘Gin-ge ge, call me Siu-er again. I want to hear you say it.’  
Jongin can see that he’s given up hope. He can see it in the smaller male’s eyes. Jongin is struggling not to cry now.   
‘Give me your other hand. I will call you Siu-er every day for the rest of our lives, just… just don't let go.’  
‘I…I will miss you.’  
Jongin watches in shock as Siu-er slips free from his grasp, it made no difference how hard he scrambled to grasp at his hand again. This time he only caught air and the silver adjustable bangle that he always saw the other wear. He watched him as he fell in to the abyss, graceless, staring back up at Jongin as the darkness swallowed him.

‘KYUNGSOOOOOOOOOO!’

Jongin collapses into himself and begins to cry while screaming his name until he thought he’d officially tore his throat to shreds, unable to utter Kyungsoo’s name. **

Jongin hastily wipes his face with the back of his hand, getting up and stumbling over to the closet. Taking out a bottle of alcohol and tossing the cap aside, he takes long, much needed, drink from it before he stumbles over to Siu-er’s desk. Picking up the black sweater he knows belongs to the other male, he buries his face deep in to the fabric. Desperately trying to find his scent that he knows has long since faded, he can’t help the hot tears that begin to spill down his face as he realizes he will likely never smell that familiar scent again.   
“I miss you my Kyungsoo, my Siu-er…”

************

“Ah fuck, that really hurt.” Chanyeol mutters before he collapses back on to the floor. He touches his jaw gingerly, and sadly, it felt hot and swollen to the touch. If he focuses further, he can essentially feel that his lip is bleeding again.  
‘Shit. Does Jongin really have to resort to violence?’   
His face is in pain. His right side is in pain from hitting the floor. His legs felt like jelly from all the pain running rampant throughout his long limbed body.   
But most importantly he feels a small delicate hand cup his face gently, and so, he looks up into Baekhyun’s worried brown eyes. 

With a small smile, Chanyeol gently touches Baekhyun’s face to reassure himself that Baek is, in fact, ok. That his Baekhyunnie is fine. That Jongin did not make even a single scratch mark on Baek.   
He gently brushes the smaller male’s bangs out of his face.   
“Baek, I am fine. Jongin didn’t… break my jaw or knock any of my teeth loose. Once I put a little ice on it, I will be fine.”  
It was as if his words knocked Baekhyun out of his stupor.   
Baek eyes welled up with tears the moment he realize how horrible Chanyeol’s injuries looked.   
“Baek, I am fin... . ” he chuckled a bit, trying to diffuse the tension.  
He was cut off in mid-sentence, when Baekhyun suddenly let out a loud, nearly deafening scream of anguish. 

Chanyeol eyes widened in shock as the smaller male start screaming and sobbing almost inconsolably. He felt small and helpless as he was forced to watch his best friend have a meltdown right in front of him. 

****************

Baekhyun gently caressed Chanyeol’s face. His stupidly loving, dog-like, Channie, whose face is all red and swollen, his lip is busted and bleeding. Why? Because his best friend did not even hesitate, no second thoughts at all, just his typical selfless self, just darting right in front of the punch meant for Baekhyun.   
God, this is all his fault. He just didn't know when to shut up. It was that thought that had him breaking down, reduced to screaming and crying hysterically.   
‘Stupid, Yoda.’  
Suddenly, his world goes dark and he feels himself collapse into Chanyeol’s arms in a dead feint. 

Nothing he says or does is working. Everything is falling on deaf ears.   
Chanyeol is grabbing hold of Baek’s face, talking in a soothing voice that is useful usually only on babies or scared dogs.   
“Shhh Baek, Baek it’s not your fault, okay? If anyone, it’s Jongin’s, that drunken asshole…it’s his fault. He….he should not have resorted to something like violence. It’s stupid honestly. He can just walk away. But he choose not too…. shhh.”  
“….is my fault. I am so sorry Chanyeol- hic- I should have just shut up. What is wrong with me?”  
Baekhyun is dry heaving from all the crying and sobbing. Chanyeol is at his wits end when suddenly, Baekhyun collapsed into his arms.   
His lips are still ghosting ‘sorry’ like a broken record on repeat.   
Chanyeol look ups and into the worried eyes of Yixing, Jongdae, and their guests. 

Chanyeol works to gather Baekhyun into his arms, softy speaking into Baekhyun’s hair. ‘I did say I will protect you no matter what, my Baekhyunnie.’ With that thought Chanyeol buries his face into Baekhyun neck and lets tears of his own fall. 

*******************  
Yixing and Jongdae pad quietly into the room and are stuck simply staring at Chanyeol’s bent figure, both at lost what to do. So they do the only thing they can do, which is lay a comforting hand on each of Chanyeol’s shoulders. Jongdae looks back at their guests that are hovering by the doorway.

They look equally at lost what to do. Jongdae has a flash on of conscience as they had come for a visit and walk into a mess that they have no part of and that no one seems to have any clue of how to resolve or fix. 

**************

Later in the evening a lone figure leaves the Exo dorm without a backwards glance. Left behind is a letter, and if anyone even manages to find it they’ll know why he left. ‘It’s for the best’. With that thought he closes the front door behind him with a soft click.


	4. Good bye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He cannot believe he is seeking away like a thief. stealing away into night like a common thief. what can he do after the chaos that he have cause. he start a fight within the group. his drinking is starting to get out hand. he need to leave and come back a better but also a sober person. 
> 
> The only thing he want is too spend the night with his beloved. but nooo his dramatic ass best friend have to up and leave. even better he decided to pull wuxia heroes by leaving deep in the night. oh let hope the members don't catch on to their little lie. or else there will a lot to explain and he have no clue how to start or even where to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi this is the actual chapter 4 lol. I have realize I send the wrongs chapter to my beta for edtt.
> 
> Thank you emeraldgreen555 for being my beta. Even after all the crazy confusion I have cause you.

He made his first and last visit to St. Mary's hospital where Jing Xiu was warded. He had only been here once which was the day of the accident. The day where his entire world had changed completely. They told him that he was cradling Jing Xiu’s unconscious body when he was found after running away from Taemin. He was rocking back and forth and muttering ‘I am here now, Siu-er. I am not letting you go’ to himself softly.

He could not visit him beforehand because he was a coward. He could not face the reality of losing Jing Xiu. He caressed his face softly, happy that he was able to breathe on his own. He looked up when he heard a noise heading towards his direction. He gave Jing Xiu a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room.

He ducked into the room across the hall. When he looked out through the little window, he saw Luhan and Xiumin walking and heading towards Jing Xiu’s room.

“Minseok, did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“There’s someone in Changmin’s room.”

“Luhan, you’re hearing things. We just ran into Kyuhyun-hyung in the canteen just now.”

He heard footsteps heading towards Changmin’s room and he immediately ducked inside the bathroom. From there, he saw Xiumin and Luhan entering the room.

“See? There’s no one.”

“You’re right, Baozi. I think I’m jumping into conclusions because of what happened back at the BBQ restaurant. I know that Kris and Suho will kill us.”

“Please Lu-ge, don't mention it again. We’re lucky that we have a private room or else the incident will be all over the internet.”

He watched Luhan and Xiumin leave the room. He quietly left the bathroom and took a peek to make sure that the coast was clear before quietly leaving the room.

‘Time to head to the next appointment.’

The hand on the bed twitched. The machine next to the figure began to shriek.

 

**************

 

Kris raised himself from his chair and held his wine cup up.

“This my apology for witnessing the fight between the Chanyeol and Jongin. Suho has to be at the hospital in case Jing Xiu wakes up. So I will drink for him instead. “

“Yifan, don't be a stranger. I know this is the first time that we met but I’m hoping that we can get to know each other.”

“Hong Lei is correct. We came to visit Yixing and all of you because we are worried. We know that having such a tragedy within the company is not easy. Jongin is grieving and he has lost his way but hopefully that’s temporary.”

“What Xiao Zhu said is correct. Yixing is like a little brother to us. We were really worried when we heard that he got hurt. We were extremely worried when we also heard that another member is in a coma. Yixing’s friends are our friends. We will be here for a week, so tell us if you need anything. Once you guys are all healed up, come to china. I will talk to my wife so that we can all have a barbeque together.”

“Shifu, I don't know what to say.”

Sun Hong Hei held his hand up. “Yixing-ah, you don’t need to say anything. Just focus on recuperating. This way, we can keep filming ‘Go Fighting’ together for a long time to come.”

Yixing looked around the table. The people whom he loved and cared about were all in one place. He watched as Suho was trying to stop Tao from putting too many pieces of meat on the grill.  Kris was too busy stuffing his mouth that he failed to notice Luhan and Xiumin swapping Junmyeon’s cup of tea for a cup of soju. He watched as Chanyeol struggle to converse with Hong Lei-ge, Xiao Zhu-ge and Shifu with his limited mandarin. He watched as Jongdae made sure that Baekhyun had enough to eat in front of their greedy maknae Sehun who was encouraging Tao to put more meat on the grill much to Suho’s frustration.

“Jongdae.”

“Yes, Xing-ge.”

“Get that bottle of soju away from Xiumin and Luhan. At this rate, Junmyeon will be three sheets to the wind. Kris will be pissed.”

Jongdae looked over to where the eldest sat. He could see Xiumin and Luhan was taking turns pouring soju into Junmyeon’s cup. He could also see that Junmyeon’s face was red from the over consumption of alcohol. He took the bottle away from Xiumin and Luhan after giving them a dirty look. He noticed that the bottle was clear instead of the usual green. Upon closer examination, he noticed that the label was in Chinese.

“Ge.”

“Yes, Jongdae?”

“This is not soju. The bottle’s label said ‘erguotuo’.”

He took the bottle from Jongdae and took a closer look at the liquid inside. The problem with baijiu and soju was that both of them were clear like water. Their difference was that one tasted like gasoline while the other tasted like rubbing alcohol. So, the only way to differentiate between them was to drink it.  

He did not want to alert the entire table on what the eldest in EXO had supposedly have done. He quickly sent a text message to Luhan.

<Luhan, did you add water to the erguotuo? You’d better be honest. Because if Kris finds out that you and Minseok are the masterminds, you’ll know what will happen.>

<Yes, I did add water to the erguotuo. It’s 60/40.>

<60/40?>

<60 is water / 40 is alcohol>

<Thank you>

<You’re welcome>

 He poured some into a shot glass and took a shot. He regretted taking the shot. The drink might be diluted but it was still strong.

Yixing failed to notice that Jongdae had drank the erguotuo as well. When he finally noticed it, it was too late.

“Jongdae, why the hell did you drink it?”

“Xing-ge, that is not alcohol. That is gasoline. I was curious on how strong is it since you looked really pissed and you were coughing right after you drank it.”

While Yixing was busy taking care of Jongdae, he failed notice a tipsy Suho had gotten up.

They heard a crash. Both Yixing and Jongdae and all the people who were present stood up and what they saw caused their jaws to drop.

“Wait that can happen in real life? I thought it can only happen in a drama,” Sehun said.

Everyone turned and stared at Sehun at his remark.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

 “Shit, Lu-ge. We are dead.”

Everyone turned their heads to stare at the duo that were the creators of the chaos at hand.

“Oh fuck. Kris and Junmyeon will definitely murder us now.  Minseok, want to come to china and live with me?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea, Lu-ge.”

 

***********

 

“Mmm, we should stop. The others will be back soon.”

Instead of answering his lover, he showered the other’s neck with kisses, reached up and cradleed his head, nibbling on his ear. He let a moan out when his lover hit a sensitive spot.

“My love, you were saying?”

“Hmm, one more round would not hurt.”

 His phone started ringing when he pushed his lover back on to the bed. He let a groan out at the bad timing. ‘This better be good. Me and Minho have not a chance to be alone in a long time,’ he thought. He blindly groped for his phone that was perched on the night stand.

“Hullo.”

“Taemin, Jongin is missing.”

“WHAT?”

He shot up at the news of Jongin being missing. His lover let out groan of disapproval when he did that. He quickly put his finger to his lips and pointed to his phone.

“What was that noise, Taemin?”

“I walked into a table and hit my shin. You know how much that hurts. Suho, are you sure that he did not just…you know…went out for a walk?”

“Positive. That dramatic ass of his decided steal away into the night, leaving a letter behind.”

Yes, that was Kim Jongin alright. Dramatic as ever. Leave it to him to leave a letter behind instead of a normal goodbye.

“Suho, I will be there in 20 minutes. Others went out shopping. We have to wait for them to come back.”

Taemin tossed his phone back onto the night stand.

“We have 5 minutes to finish what we started. 5 minutes to make everything look normal. Think you can do it?”

“You talk too much.”

“My dear froggy, make me shut up then.”

“Oh I will, Taeminnie.”

 

************

“That was all he wrote. No other explanation whatsoever.”

Taemin let out a sigh of frustration. This was supposed to be his night without the members so that he could have some alone time with his beloved. Stupid Jongin and his dramatic ass. He had to go and ruin his evening. He looked over to where the leaders of EXO were sitting far apart from each other and looking quite awkward with each other.

‘Wonder what happened between them?’

Taemin froze when Suho asked him about his shin.

“It’s fine now. It does not hurt anymore.”

“What’s wrong with your shin?”

“You did not know, Onew-hyung? I called Taemin earlier to tell him that Jongin is missing and I heard a groan in the background. Taemin said that he have walked into a table.”

“Really? I thought that Onew is the only one that is a klutz,” Key said.

Taemin spoke up, “There is first time for everything.”

 Suho noticed that Minho froze at the mention of a groan and that Taemin had hurt his shin.

‘Hmm, interesting.’

“Minho, what did you buy today? I heard you and the others went shopping just now.”

Jonghyun cocked his head at the mention that Minho had gone out earlier.

“He did? I thought that he had a stomach ache which is why he declined to join us.”

Key frowned at Jonghyun’s response. “He told me that he is feeling under the weather.”

Onew spoke up, “He told me that he’s meeting some of his friends for lunch and Taemin told me that he wanted to practice dancing.”

“Practice dancing? Taemin told me that he is broke. That’s why he didn’t want to go out today.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Key? Taemin told me that he has too many clothes.”

Suho noticed that both Taemin and Minho both turned white at the fact that they were caught lying to their members and both looked very nervous.

“Anyway, there is nothing we can do until Jongin call or at least contact one of us,” Taemin quickly said. Everyone in the living room jumped at the sudden shout.

“It’s late and all of us are tired from shopping and dance practice.”

With a bow and saying their goodbyes, Onew and his members left.

‘Interesting. Very interesting. Why would Taemin and Minho lie to their members like that? What secrets are they possibly hiding?’

 

*******

 

“Lu-ge, I think I know who was in Changmin’s room.”

“Who?”

“Kim Jongin.”

“Jongin? He’s back at the dorm, Baozi.”

Minseok walked over to Jing Xiu picking his right arm up.

“Lu-ge, this bangle has never left Jongin’s side.”

Luhan walked over to Minseok’s side. Baozi was correct. That bangle was not there earlier.

“Lu-ge. Call Suho.”

Luhan took out his phone and called Suho. Both shared a worried look as the phone rang.

“Okay, I understand.”

“Well?”

“Baozi, Jongin has left. He only left behind a letter.”

They both froze when they heard the machine go off in Changmin’s room.


	5. Mute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chanyeol remember the exact time the dorm have gone quiet. it been three week. three very very quiet week.
> 
> He did not know what is like to miss someone until he is no longer around him. he miss the late night outing and on the whimp seeking out of the dorm. 
> 
> What is like long for someone. I will tell you I don't know. now I know what is like experience the painful longing of missing somone. His scent and the way he manage make me happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you emeraldegreen555 for being my beta

“How is he doing? Is he talking?”  
“No he isn’t. He only talks when he is outside or when he is singing. On occasion, he whispers to Chanyeol. But other than that, he doesn't speak.”  
Chanyeol let out a sigh. In public, Byun Baekhyun was the same person. But once back home, in the dorm, it was a whole different matter entirely. Back home, he was a mute. He did not speak or talk. Instead, he communicated through post-its or a dry erase board.  
Thank goodness Tao was here. Tao had taught Baekhyun sign language. Everyone else was also learning sign language in order to communicate with Baekhyun. It broke everyone’s hearts to see the once lively and talkative Byun Baekhyun reduced to a mute.  
Chanyeol still remembered the day the talkative Byun Baekhyun became silent. He would always remember that fateful day - the day their Exo dorm had gone quiet. Too quiet.

*****************

  
Three weeks earlier…

  
Jongdae watched as Chanyeol carried an unconscious Baekhyun out of the practice room. Jongdae was about to follow Chanyeol when he felt his hand being tugged. Jongdae swivelled his head around to see Yixing shaking his head.  
“Go get the first aid kit and boil an egg, Jongdae.”  
“Okay, Yixing.”

Yixing watched as Chanyeol carry an unconscious Baekhyun into their room, closing the door behind him. Letting out a sigh, he turned his wheelchair around and headed to the kitchen to see if Jongdae needed a helping hand. Instead, he found Jongdae weeping into his hands, trying to stifle his cries so that no one would know how badly he was affected by the fight that Jongin had started. He grabbed Jongdae’s elbow to get his attention but the latter shook it off.  
“I am fine.”  
“No, you’re not.”  
Yixing pulled Jongdae into his lap. Jongdae resisted at first, protesting “I am not a baby!” before giving in.  
Silently, they both sat in the kitchen with the only sound being Jongdae’s inconsolable sobs. Yixing tightened the arm that was wrapped around Jongdae’s waist with his left hand gently cradling Jongdae’s head that was resting on his shoulder. He placed his chin on top of Jongdae’s head.

Jongdae sat on Yixing’s lap and calmed down after crying his heart out. He wanted things to go back to the way they were. He did not care if was 9 or 12. He wanted things like before, before the accident happened. He lifted his head up and realized how close his face was to Yixing’s. He suddenly felt shy and averted his eyes. He bit his lips nervously. He did know why his heart was racing or why he was so scared looking into Yixing’s eyes.  
“Better?”  
He nodded his headed shyly.  
“I will get the tea and snacks ready.”  
“Jongdae, get the big red robe tea. You know where I put it. I will personally prepare it.”  
The tea that Yixing mentioned was really expensive and was always used to serve to their guests. Yixing appreciated the Ge who came all the way from China to visit and felt guilty that the Ge had to witness the unpleasantness of what just happened.

“Hong Lei-ge, Xiao Zhu-ge and Shifu, I apologize that you have to witness the fight. Things have been crazy around here.”  
“Yixing-ah, it’s ok. You don't need to apologize for what had happened.”  
“I do, Xiao Zhu-ge. You guys came to visit me to see how I am doing. But you had to witness something like that.”  
“Yixing, listen to Shifu. We came to visit is to check up on you and the members. We may not know them as well as we know you. In the time that we do get to know them, we grow to care about them. We worry about you and the members. Shimo has given me a lot of herbs that are good for you and your members.”  
“Yixing, the moment Jing Xiu wake up, call us. We would tell you what to cook and what herbs that will nourish the body.”  
“Yes, Shifu and Huang Lei-ge. Shifu, send my thanks to Shimo.”

*************

A frantic and distraught Chanyeol ran into the kitchen.  
“Baekhyunnie is mute.”  
“What the fuck do you mean by ‘Baekhyun is mute’?”  
“What I mean is that when Baek woke up, he cannot talk.”  
Chanyeol froze and slowly turned around to face the speaker. It was Kris and he could tell that Kris was livid.  
“What happened to your face? Was it Jongin who punched you? Was he the reason that Baek is mute? TELL ME!”  
“Yifan, calm down.”  
A small, dainty hand grabbed Kris’ elbow to try to calm him down. Kris sighed.  
“Suho, I’ve warned him more than once. If words do not work, he would resort to violence.”  
Kris turned around and stomped out of the kitchen to head toward the back where the bedrooms were located.  
“Kris, no.”  
Suho turned around to stare at Chanyeol with a worried look in his eyes. Suddenly, there was a huge bang that echoed back to the kitchen.  
All of them flinched and ran towards the source of the noise.

Kris had never been so angry in his entire life. He had warned Jongin time and again to not do anything stupid. Chanyeol’s face was now a mess. Baekhyun was now mute. He reached the room that Jongin and Kyungsoo shared, and turned the doorknob, only to realize that it was locked. He backed up and kicked the door in.  
The door hit the wall with a bang that echoed though the dorm.  
  
Jongin put his hands up and squinted as the light invaded his darkness, his solitude. He recognized the invader as Kris.  
“Hey Kris. Want some? I have more than enough to share.”  
He let out a drunken laugh and held up the liquor bottle in a mock cheer. He melted back on to the bed that he was leaning against while sitting on the floor. He took a heartily drink from the bottle, clumsily spilling some on his shirt.

Kris surveyed the state of the room. There were bottles everywhere and the room reeked of alcohol. He walked over to Jongin and kneeled down at Jongin’s eye level. He then knocked the bottle of alcohol out of the younger male’s hand, spilling the alcohol everywhere.  
“Hey.”  
“I am going to ask you a question. And I’m going to ask it just once. What the fuck happened to Chanyeol’s face?”  
“Oh you mean Chanyeol face. Hey, look I was about to teach that Chanyeol bitch a lesson for talking too much. He is dumb enough to be the big man.”  
Kris grabbed hold of Jongin’s shirt front and was about punch him when he heard someone utter his name. He froze and turned to face that person. He saw Suho standing by the doorway, well what left of the doorway that was.  
“Kris, no.”  
Kris tightened his hold on Jongin’s shirt and dragged Jongin out of the room into bathroom before unceremoniously tossing Jongin into the shower. Jongin roughly hit the shower wall with a grunt. He took the shower head off the wall, turned on the cold water and sprayed Jongin with it.  
“KIM JONGIN, YOU ARE A FUCKIN MESS. YOU DRUNK YOURSELF TO A STUPOR. YOU DANCED UNTIL YOU FUCKIN FAINTED IN THE PRACTICE ROOM.”  
Jongin made a move to get up. Out of nowhere, a foot kicked Jongin in the chest, sending him flying back and hitting the wall with a painful thud. Jongin let out a painful groan as his back hit the wall.

They all turned and looked at the culprit who was standing there, looking all innocent like he just did not kick Jongin square in the chest that sent him flying back.  
“What?”  
Kris stared in awe at Suho. In shock and awe that the beautiful innocent Junmyeon was the one that had just violently kicked Jongin back into the shower stall. Kris felt someone poke him in the back, snapping him out of the daze that Junmyeon had put him in.  
“Ye... ye...yes.”  
He heard laughter at the back. He would deal with them later because now there were bigger problems at hand.  
“Kris, let me.”  
Suho shut off the water and put the shower head back.  
“Kim Jongin, I am going to say this once so you’d better listen carefully. Kyungsoo sacrificed himself to save to your sorry ass. So you can’t just throw his efforts away like they’re yesterday’s garbage. do You know, if Kyungsoo did not push you away, you would have become a cripple permanently even if you had survived the fall. And then you would have destroyed your spine. No dancing. No walking. Nothing. We did not tell you cos we figured that you were smart enough to not do anything stupid. We placed our trust in you that you will pull though. Alas, we are all wrong.”

The room was so quiet after Suho’s little speech that you could hear a pin drop. No laughing, no talking. They all filed out of the bathroom one by one, leaving sullen, shell shocked and soaking wet Kim Jongin behind. Not moment later, a scream echoed throughout the dorm.

************

A figure in white walked into the bathroom barefooted. He walked over to the wet and sullen figure that was sitting in a pool of cold water with his head hung low, in defeat or in shame. He did not know himself.  
He walked through the threshold and stepped into the pool of cold water.  
‘The bathroom is wet and the water is everywhere. Kris has gone overboard. Is it really necessary?’

He then widened his eyes in shock when he realized that Jongin was going to slam his head against the wall. With a soundless gasp, he immediately put his hand between the wall and Jongin’s head. He winced in pain when he felt Jongin’s head hit his hand. But it was better that the head hit his hand than the wall.  
He felt someone staring at him. When he looked down, he saw a pair of distraught brown eyes staring right back at him.

************

Jongin sat with his back to the tile wall, his head hung low and his bangs dripping wet. He was a fool. He had disappointed everyone. He even failed his beloved siu-er. Kyungsoo knew how much dancing meant to him. He knew that not being able to dance at all was a death sentence to Jongin. Jongin would have gone mad with grief. He closed his eyes and slammed his head back. Instead of the cold wet tile, he met something soft like a hand. He felt that very hand slap him on the back of his head. His hand went up and rubbed the spot where it got slapped. He opened his eyes and saw a pair of feet.  
‘Huh, that feet look familiar.’  
He looked up and saw an angel with a pair of puppy eyes staring back at him. The owner of that pair of eyes was wearing an oversized white button down and he was frowning at him.

“Baekhyun, I am sorry.”  
Instead of replying, he saw Baekhyun write something on the white notepad and handed it to him.  
Dummy, don't do that you will hurt yourself.  
“Baek, are you mute” Jongin croaked out.  
Yes. Don’t worry about it. I will go to the doctor and they will figure it out.  
Baekhyun handed the note to Jongin who began to cry when he saw what Baekhyun wrote on the paper.  
“I am so so so sorry, Baek.”  
They heard Chanyeol call out for Baekhyun. Baekhyun turned his head toward the door, knowing that he had limited time before Chanyeollie came looking for him. He quickly scribbled something on the notepad before handing it to Jongin.  
I got to go, most importantly.  
Baekhyun scribbled some more and handed the last note to Jongin. On it he wrote:  
I forgive you, Kim Jongin.  
Baekhyun dropped a towel on top of Jongin’s head before he left and he became an inconsolable mess.


	6. Strange but familiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is going on? What are they doing here? Why am I in a hospital? he was rehearsing for the concert with others went he fell down the trap door that was left open. What happen afterwards?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you emerablegreen5555 for being my beta.

**present**

  
The figure that was lying on the bed began to stir. With a groan, a small pale hand began to search around the bed, searching for something.

  
‘Where are those glasses of mine? I always put them next to me. So that I don't have to blindly search for them,’ he thought.   
It sucked that he had to depend on the glasses for everything. He would be literally blind without them. Normally, he would wear his contact lens during promotion or filming. On days that he did not have to promote or film, he preferred to stay at home and wear his glasses.

  
‘Seriously, now I really wish I had listened to Jongin on accepting SM’s offer of Lasik surgery.’

  
He swing his legs over the bed, opened his eyes and looked up. To his shock and surprise, everything was crystal clear. His vision was 20/20.

  
‘Impossible,’ he thought. He had been having vision problems all his life. Even when he asked for contact lens he made sure that he could see using it without having a headache. He did not even flinch when his eye doctor told him he would need toric contact lens that will correct his astigmatism and far-sightedness. To ensure that he was not seeing things, he covered his left eye with his left hand, and then moved his right hand in front of his right eye. Afterwards, he repeated the action with his left eye to be fully certain.

  
‘Yep, everything is clear.’ To make sure that he was not hallucinating, he stuck his finger into his eye hoping to feel the contact lens move but he did not feel any contact lens.   
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw something black draped across his shoulder. He nearly screamed when he realized that it was just hair.

  
‘Wait, my hair is long. What the fuck.’ He looked toward the window before slowly reaching out and touching his reflection. He saw himself but he looked so different. It was weird seeing himself with long hair. He then realized what he was wearing – a mandarin collar shirt that reached his mid-thigh, with long loose wide leg pants, both in light blue. After that, he took a look around his surroundings.

  
He began to panic when he realized that he was in the hospital. ‘But why am I in the hospital? What the fuck is going on? Wasn’t I with the others practising for our concert? Wait…I remember tripping and falling off the stage.’

  
So the beeping he heard earlier was not a hallucination. Kris was not a fragment of his imagination. Everything was real.   
Suddenly, he heard a voice that he had not heard in forever. The only person that had a soft but masculine voice, the one that everyone calls a deer because of his last name. No fucking way, he was supposed to be in china because he had left EXO like Kris and Tao.

  
“Jing Xiu, you’re awake! Thank god.”  
That very person began to walk toward him but he backed away from the newcomer. His sudden movement caused him to feel faint and stumble backwards. Suddenly, he felt hands grab hold of his arm to stop him from falling on his ass.

  
“Don't move too much, Jing Xiu. You just woke up.”

  
He removed his arm from the grip and backed away.

  
“Luhan, what are you doing here in Korea? Who the hell is ‘Jing Xiu’? What the hell is going on? Why am I dressed like this? Why am I in the hospital? What the hell is going on?”

  
Luhan was at loss at how to answer Jing Xiu’s questions that were coming at him like a machine gun going off.

  
He did not expect Jing Xiu to do so – to be so energetic after waking up from an almost 3-month coma. Luhan had expected a dazed and confused Kyungsoo. He was not prepared to come across a just awake Jing Xiu that cross-examined people with the intensity that would make a lawyer proud.   
“If Chanyeol thinks that this is funny, I am going back to the dorm and kick his ass.”  
Luhan felt sorry for Chanyeol as the poor guy had done nothing to Jing Xiu and he just got threatened. Now he seriously wondered why the hell did Jing Xiu become a singer when he was so good at cross-examining people. Luhan let out a sigh of relief when he heard a third voice - a soft motherly voice that could only belong to one person only.

  
“Jing Xiu.”

  
Kyungsoo turned around and faced the owner of that familiar voice, the soft and comforting voice.

The person who was standing by the doorway gave him a gentle and motherly smile in return.

  
***************

  
“AHHHHHHHH”

  
Yixing looked up from the book that he was reading. He eyed the screaming person that was sitting on the floor next to his wheelchair. The way Yixing stared at the screaming person suggested that the person was mental for screaming in the otherwise quiet dorm. The problem was that the dorm was too quiet. With a sigh, Yixing closed the book he was reading.

  
“Chanyeol, screaming is Jongdae’s job, not yours. It does not suit you.”

  
Chanyeol glared up at Yixing. Yixing merely raised his eyebrows.

  
“What? I am telling the truth. Yes, I know that the dorm is too quiet. As a matter of fact, way too quiet.”

  
Chanyeol raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes as if saying ‘finally you agree with me’.   
“But stealing Jongdae’s job is not the way to go. Go play some games, music or something.”

  
Chanyeol glared at the Yixing. Finally, he spoke, “I bet you are the expert when it comes to Jongdae screaming.” An apple came flying from the kitchen and hit Chanyeol on the head, followed by a silvery object that also came flying right after the apple. With a shriek, Chanyeol ducked, thinking that it was knife. When he looked up, he literally stared into the eyes of a demon that was holding a carving knife right in front of his face, slowly waving back and forth.   
“So who is the expert when it comes to my screaming, hmm?”

  
“No...no...no one, Jongdae,” Chanyeol fearfully responded as his eyes followed the waving knife as it moved back and forth.   
“Look, Jongdae. I was joking. Joking. Jok...ing.” Chanyeol screamed when the knife came too close to his face.

  
“Jongdae, stop scaring Chanyeol.”  
Jongdae stopped waving the knife and slicing it forward, slicing a few strands of Chanyeol’s red hair off.

  
Chanyeol let out a shriek when he saw a few strands of his hair get chopped off. Watching as the red hair slowly float to ground, he could not that believe he nearly died at the hands of Kim Jongdae.

  
Jongdae turned to Yixing with a gentle smile.   
“I made chicken fried rice. I also made crabmeat pancake along with miso soup.”  
He suddenly turned to Chanyeol with a devious smile.

  
“No food for you. Baekhyun, wash that spoon before you eat with it. Everyone is already at the table.”

  
Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun. There was a teasing glint in the shorter male’s eyes. He looked at the spoon and looked back at Chanyeol.  
-(post it notes written by Baekhyun)-  
(Chanyeol, you are afraid of a spoon.)  
“No, I am not afraid of a spoon,” Chanyeol replied.  
(Yes, you are. You screamed like a girl.)  
“No, I don’t!”  
(Yes, you do.)  
Before Baekhyun could stick another post-it note on Chanyeol’s forehead, he heard Jongdae screaming from the kitchen.   
“Baek come and eat! Leave Chanyeol to starve.”

  
Baekhyun ran to the kitchen with an excited smile after sticking another post-it note on Chanyeol’s forehead.

  
Chanyeol watched Baekhyun run off with a smile after sticking another post-it to his forehead. He took the post-it notes off his forehead and let out a chuckle when he saw what was written on the recent one.   
(:-p yes you do. That is what you get for teasing Chen and Lay. No food for Chanyeollie. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ.)  
He stared at the post-it notes in his hands. Today Baekhyun used purple post-it notes. He wondered what the color would it be tomorrow. 3 weeks…that was how long it had been since Baekhyun had lost the ability to speak. Now, he was using post-it notes to communicate. On occasion, he would use a dry erase broad. And, he was slowly learning sign language.

  
It was also 3 weeks since Jongin went MIA, leaving behind a letter like some damn wuxia hero from a drama. They all knew where Jongin had gone and why. There was a phone call here and there, that was about it.   
At that moment, his stomach growled, demanding to be fed. He lay down on the floor on the same spot where Yixing wheelchair used to occupy.

  
“I AM HUNGRY. FEED ME.”

  
“ACHOO.”

  
***********

Earlier in the day

A young man entered the temple before he lit three incense sticks and bowed three times. On one hand, he was holding a string of mala beads as he clasped his hands together and silently prayed for safety for the one that have left. Hopefully, that person would find his way back. He also prayed for the one that had just woken up and the one that was still sleeping.

  
Ever since that accident happened, the only thing he could do was visit the temple and pray. Every day, he silently recited the same sutra repeatedly. Hoping for a miracle.   
He kneeled down on the cushion, closing his eyes. He let the silence of the temple, gentle chants from the monks and the smell of sandalwoods lull him to a meditative state. He was so deep in his concentration that he did not hear the approaching footsteps.


	7. Confusion and missing you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He silently watch as suho pray at the temple. day in and day out. hopping for miracles. praying for the safety of the one that have disappear. 
> 
> He have more questions than answer after seeing suho. he is even more confuse why are they calling him jing xiu. that is not his name.

A lone figure entered the temple, walking toward the kneeling figure. He stood less than a foot away from the one that was praying hard. He did not want to disturb the peace that had settled around the person who was praying like a veil. It was also because he had not seen that kind of peaceful expression on the other’s face for a long time. After all that just had happened, he did not even have the time to rest and that broke his heart. He was just not given the time and space just to breathe and adjust to what was going on.

The temple that they were in was not as ornate or elaborate as some of the temples that he had visited. It was also not as old or as steep in history that you could tell that it has hundreds, if not thousands of stories to tell if it was alive. They all had the same smell, just like a coffee house that always have this lingering sense of fresh brewed coffee. Or like a tea house that always have this wonderful smell of tea hanging in the air. All of the temples that he had visited always have this lingering smell of sandalwood.

"Yifan."

The person held his hand up and turned around. He held his index finger up to his lips and nodded his head at the praying young men at the altar. The person who approached Yifan nodded his head and turned around as he was about to leave. A shrill ringing of a phone broke the tranquility that surrounded the temple.  
The prayer beads broke, causing the beads to rain down to the floor like heavy raindrops. The young men who were praying looked up in worry. Kris answered the phone, his expression blank.

“Okay, I understand. We will be there.”

“Kris, is it Jing Xiu? Did something happen?”

“We can talk on our way there, Suho.”

Suho nodded his head and bent down to pick up the beads. A much larger hand reached out and stopped Suho’s hand.

“It’s ok. My manager will pick it up.”

“Yes, Junmyeon-ssi, I will pick it up. You guys go to the hospital.”

Kris held out his hand. Suho looked up into Kris’ eyes with a smile before accepting the the other’s hand. Kris closed his hands and pulled Suho up. Suho turned and bowed to the manager.

“Thank you, manager-sshi.”

“You’re welcome, Suho-sshi.”

As they walked down temple steps, Suho paused and turned to Kris.

“Jia Heng, is Jing Xiu...gone?‘’

Suho watched anxiously as Kris walked down the last few steps of the stairs. Kris turned and stared up at Suho.

“Mianmian, Jing Xiu is awake.”

With a cry of joy, Suho ran down the last few steps. In his haste, he missed the last two steps. One moment he was running, next thing he knew, he was staring into Kris’ hazel eyes.

Kris managed to catch hold of Suho before letting out a chuckle.

“Whoa, we don't need another member in the hospital. So please be careful.”

Suho let out smile when he heard Kris’ words but his smile dropped at what Kris said next.

“Hmmm, with the way you came flying at me just now, I think I should call you a flying noodle instead.”  
Suho let out a gasp of indignation. He began to hit Kris repeatedly.

“Let me go! I hate you, Wu Yi Fan! Let me go!”  
With a laugh, Kris put Suho down. He watched as Suho stormed off to the car before quietly following along.

***********

The person standing at the door gave him a motherly smile. He walked over to him and took his arm from Luhan. Suho sat Jing Xiu down on his bed.  
“Jing Xiu, you just woke up. Don't be so energetic. You’re scaring Luhan. Luhan, call the others and tell them that Jing Xiu is awake. Also, go find Jing Xiu’s doctor.”  
“Ok, Suho. I will also tell the others not to tell Jongin. At least not yet. How does that sound, Suho?”  
“That’s a good idea, Luhan. I don’t want to overwhelm Jing Xiu since he just woke up. Also, tell the others not to visit until the doctor says so and not in large numbers.”

“No problem. I will also ask the doctor if it is okay for Jing Xiu to eat.”

“Thank you, Luhan.”

“No problem.”

He watched as Luhan left his room with a click of the door before he switched his attention back to Suho who kneeled down in front of him.

“Jing Xiu, I’m glad that you are awake. You have no idea how worried we were. Days, weeks and months have passed and you showed no signs of waking up. Till now.”

Wait. His name is Do Kyungsoo, D.O. of EXO. Not Jing Xiu. Who is this Jing Xiu?

“I am not Jing Xiu. I am Kyungsoo.”

Suho took the chair that was next to the window and sat in front Jing Xiu before taking hold of the latter’s hands. He leaned over and tucked a strand of black hair behind the latter’s ear.

“Dou Jing Xiu is your Chinese name. Your Korean name is Do Kyungsoo. Jing Xiu, that is the name we address you on a daily basis,” Suho gently told the dazed but confused young man sitting in front of him.

Jing Xiu pointed to himself and slowly said “Dou…Jing…Xiu.”

Then, he pointed at Suho.  
Suho slowly said, “Kim...Jun...Myeon.”

Jing Xiu slowly repeated, “Kim…Jun...Myeon.”

Suho gave a smile and nodded. “Yes, I am Suho, leader of EXO.”

He gently caressed Jing Xiu’s face and broke into a teary smile. He still remembered seeing a traumatized Jongin holding a bloody but unconscious Jing Xiu while muttering his Korean and Chinese names repeatedly. Jongin had a tight grip on Jing Xiu, not even Taemin could pry his arms loose. The medic had to sedate Jongin in order to retrieve Jing Xiu.

“Suho, why am I dressed like this?”

“You were in a coma for a while. We wanted you to be comfortable so we asked the hospital staff if we could bring your clothing and they said yes.”

************

Chanyeol woke up early and he took the box out of its secret hiding place. He placed it on Baekhyun’s desk, making sure that Baek would see it the first thing he woke up. He also lay out a pair of white wide leg pants along with the grey supreme hoodie that Baek liked to steal from him. Getting all the of these gifts together was not an easy task. He owed his sister a huge favor. He knew that the members plus the managers would kill him. Giving Baek so many post-it notes was really asking for trouble. He would have to deal with the post-it notes disaster later so he would worry about that later. Now he only wanted to see his Baekhyunnie’s radiant smile that everyone missed.

Baekhyun woke up and saw a box on hisdesk in front of his laptop. He opened the box and saw cream-colored pieces of paper inside. He also recognized Chanyeol’s handwriting. With a shaky hand, he picked up the note on the box. On the piece of paper, Chanyeol wrote:

  to my Baekhyunnie,  
 you may have lost the ability to speak. I will  
supply you with infinite supply of post-it  
notes in rainbow of colors. Until the day  
you regain the ability to speak.  
yours forever, Chanyeollie

  
True to Chanyeol’s words, there was literally a mountain of post-it notes in rainbow of colors inside the box. Baekhyun let out a gasp as he began to tear up. He grabbed a black post-it and silver gel pen and was about to leave the room when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He walked over to see what it was, curious to see what was lying on Chanyeollie’s bed. He let out gasp. It was a pair of wide leg pants that he saw in a shop before but did not have the chance to buy. Chanyeol bought it for him, but how? Going out was dangerous especially when their fans recognized them and would cause a scene if they were to spot them. Right next to the pair of pants was his favorite grey supreme hoodie.

He buried his face into the grey hoodie. He could smell a faint hint of Chanyeol’s scent and his favorite brand of cologne.

He quickly got dressed and got ready before running to the kitchen. The moment he saw Chanyeol he instantly gave him a back hug and nuzzled his face into Chanyeol’s black supreme hoodie.

He quickly scribbled something on a post-it before sticking it on Chanyeol’s chest. He then stood on his tippy toes, gave Chanyeol a kiss on the cheek before running off to show Tao that what Chanyeol had given him.

 

With a groan, Tao fell off the bed. He felt the bed dip to his right so he automatically turned to his right and curled up next to the figure who have laid down next to him.

‘God he is going to miss everyone. He misses this. Miss showering with everyone. Miss Baekhyun singing off-key on purpose.’

“Penny for your thoughts?” the voice said.

“My thought is worth more than a penny,” Tao grumbled.  
The person next to him started laughing. He had heard of fans saying that his laughter sounded like a dying monkey. But to him, his laughter was like music to his ears. One that he missed hearing on daily basis. He tightened his arms that were around the person’s waist.

“I miss this, Sehun.”

“I thought you’d say you will miss having the members showering with you.”

Sehun let out a laugh when he saw the offended look on Tao’s face. He felt Tao let go of his waist and he was looking at Tao who was hovering above him. He let out a wistful smile as he stared at the man who was above him. He knew that a lot of people would find it weird that he was not freaking out when another male was hovering above him and staring down at him with so much intensity. The force of the stare was enough to make any female blush. He missed this man so much that no words could explain how much it hurt. Yes, Jongin was his good friend and he knew that many fans shipped them together.

What fans did not know was that Kim Jongin was not the person he longed for. The man that he longed for was hovering above him went by the name Huang Zitao. Stage name: Tao or ZTao. The only person that he knew who would indulge in his whims and desire with no questions asked. He wanted meat in the middle of the night? No problem. He wanted bubble tea or ddukbokki at oddball time? No problem. Just let Tao go grab his car keys. Sehun did not need to pull an aegyo or pout. He just needed to open his mouth and he would get what his heart desired. Suddenly, a wave of longing crashed into his thoughts like a tsunami. He reached up and looped his arms around Tao’s neck and pulled him down. He heard Tao breath out ‘oh shit’. Slowly, he felt Tao’s familiar warmth crash down on top of him. He buried his face into Tao’s neck smelling his opium perfume mixed with his intoxicating nature smell. This scent was something no perfume or cologne on Earth could replicate. Tao’s scent was his opium. His drug.  
Tao’s eyes widened in surprise when he felt Sehun loop his arms around his neck and pulled him down. His arms gave out on him and crushed the body underneath him with a oof. Then he felt Sehun bury his face into the crook of his neck. He let out a small smile. Long before he even started wearing cologne or perfume, Sehun would come up to him quite randomly and ask what cologne he used. He would tell him countless of times he did not use cologne or perfume.

“Hunnie, I can’t breathe. Loosen up a bit please. I’m not going anywhere for the next couple of days.”  
He took a deep breath when he felt the other’s arms loosen up. Balancing one arm, he slowly caressed the face that was underneath him. As they stared into each other’s eyes, he was about to lean down when a loud knock on the door disrupted his concentration. There was only one person in this world that was mute and still could make enough noise to wake the dead. They moved away from each other as Tao answered the door.

“Baekhyun, come in.”

Baekhyun opened the door and he excitedly signed to Tao.  
[look what Chanyeol got me.]  
“Yes, the pants are very beautiful. You look wonderful in it.”  
Baekhyun gave Tao a beaming smile at his comments before he opened his phone to show the box of post-it notes that Chanyeol had given him.  
Tao and Sehun widened their eyes in shock at the box of post-it notes.

Both shared the same thoughts.  
‘What the hell is Chanyeol thinking?’


	8. the awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for inaccuracy to what happen to a patient after waking up from a coma. I am not a doc. 
> 
> Thank you emeraldgreen555 for being my beta

Suho looked on with a worried expression. He reached into his coat pocket for his mala beads but his hand met with nothing. His eyes widened in panic but he then remembered that his mala beads broke when he was in the temple before coming here. He felt someone slip their hands into his as a sign of comfort, causing him to look up.

Giving a grateful smile, he felt his hand being squeezed gently as if to assure him that everything would be fine now.

  
“Dr. Kim, is Jing Xiu okay? He seems so confused and out of it,” Suho asked worriedly.

  
Doctor Kim retrieved a penlight from his pocket and shined it into Jing Xiu’s eyes. Dr. Kim slipped from the bed and stood up before turning to face Suho.

  
“Junmyeon-sshi, no need to worry. Jing Xiu is fine and him being confused is normal. Slight memory loss is common in coma patients. His memories will slowly return. Physical therapy will help as he is healing. I do suggest that you find a stress-free place where Jing Xiu can focus completely on recuperating.”

  
Suho let out a breath of relief when he heard that Jing Xiu was fine. He was worried that Jing Xiu would get worse or suffer from brain damage.

  
“Dr. Kim, Jing Xiu has already started walking from the moment he woke up. Why does he still need physical therapy?”

  
“That’s just a slight burst of adrenaline from waking up that caused Jing Xiu to walk. Once the adrenaline wears off, he will have trouble walking. I have already sent the nurse to get a wheelchair.”

  
“Dr. Kim, I don't need a wheelchair. I can walk just fine.”

  
Suho watched as Jing Xiu struggled to get up with his shaking limbs. He managed to get up and take his first step before falling on the floor. Suho hurriedly ran over to help him but Jing Xiu held his hands up to stop him.   
“I don't need help getting up.”

  
Jing Xiu grabbed hold of the nearest object and held on to it with a death grip. Slowly, he managed to get up and stand on his shaking limbs before he start falling over again. He felt someone catch him as he about to fall face-first to the floor.

  
“Whoa there, Jing Xiu. Stop being an idiot. You just woke up from a 2-month coma. It’s normal that you are not going to be able to walk at first. Be a good boy and stop freaking Suho out. Or else we would need to prescribe some anxiety meds for Suho.”

  
The person swept him off his feet and deposited him into a wheelchair. Jing Xiu looked up and stared into a face he had not seen for 2 years. The first thing that he did when he saw him was to smack the other across the face. The silence that followed after the unexpected smack was so loud that you could hear a pin drop.

  
Suho let out a gasp, “Kris, are you ok?”

*******************

Without warning, Kyungsoo slapped Kris across the face. He was not angry that Kris had left EXO and sued SM Entertainment. He was angry that the other left without saying a word - without letting them say goodbye. Luckily, Changmin, Yunho and the rest of Super Junior were there for them and explained to them that it was not their fault. Not long after, they witnessed Luhan getting sicker and sicker each passing day, watching him helplessly as he used sleeping aids in order to get though every flight. When one was not enough, Luhan would take double the amount.

  
He would always hear or even witness Minseok fight with Luhan to convince him to stop taking so many sleeping aids at once. He would watch as Minseok with a tear-stricken face begged Luhan - begged his Lu-ge to stop because he was afraid that his Lu-ge would get addicted to the pills. Then the inevitable had happened and Luhan went on a mini hiatus that led him to mull it over and make the ultimate decision of leaving EXO for good. He still remembered when Luhan told them that he was leaving. Apparently, he had talked it out with Minseok first before making up his mind. On the final day that Luhan stayed with them, none of them left the hotel. Because they knew that this would be the last time that they would be able to hang together as EXO. If fate allow, next time, if they do meet again, it will be solo artist Luhan meeting EXO.

  
They thought that they would have a peaceful and normal comeback. In the middle of their preparations for their next comeback, they had received news that Xiumin and Tao would join ISAC.

  
When Tao got himself injured during ISAC, they thought that it was just a minor sprain. But it turned out to be a whole lot worse than they originally thought. The argument between the members and Tao was epic. They had told him to rest and heal, but he refused, saying that he did not want to disappoint the fans. But after hours and hours of arguing, he eventually relented and obeyed their advice. But SM could care less so Tao’s injury worsened. History repeated itself and they lost another member. Now, he woke up to a world different than his own.

  
He silently observed the difference between his world’s Suho and this world’s Suho. His world’s Suho had long hair reached the middle of his back, tied neatly with a grey-coloured ribbon and he had piercings on both of his ears. This world’s Suho from the looks of it liked to wear gauge tops but it was hard to tell if it was real or fake from this angle. His eyes shifted to Kris. He was still so bloody tall. He still had his ear piercings and from looks of it, he was also wearing gauge tops too. He silently watched as Kris walked over to Suho and placed his hand on the middle of his back. He raised his eyebrows as Suho glanced up at Kris before quickly lowering his gaze and blushing.

“Hmm…interesting. I wonder why Suho is blushing.”

A knock on the door and the sound of the door opening distracted him from his musing. His new visitor was none other than the deer boy himself. Funny enough he did not look that different. He had also not seen him for almost two years. Pictures, movies and music videos did not count.

 

"Jing Xiu.”

 

He felt someone touch his shoulder and he lifted his gaze to see Suho’s brown eyes that had flecks of blue in them. He looked at the delicate hand that was on his arm. Another difference was that the Suho in his world rarely wore jewellery whereas in this world, he could tell that this Suho loved wearing jewellery. Because right now, both of his hands were wrapped with delicate chains in a style called a slave bracelet.

*************

  
It had been four weeks since he woke up from his 2-month coma. And finally, he was getting discharged from the hospital. He stared at his reflection on the hospital window and wondered who was that person staring back at him. When he asked Suho, the latter told him that he was half Korean and half Chinese. His father was Korean and his mother was Chinese. He was one of the foreign trainees from China. ‘Jing Xiu’ was his birth name while ‘Kyungsoo’ was his Korean name which he used occasionally.

  
With a sigh, he let his head hit the window with a soft thud. So many things must have had happened this past two months. There would be so many things he would have to get used to. Physical therapy was gruelling and was even tougher than dancing. He could walk without using a cane but at times, he felt like he was a 60-year-old instead of a healthy 20-something. With another sigh, he let his mind drift back to 4 weeks ago.

  
Four weeks of hell of relearning almost everything. Four weeks of torture. His legs were covered in bruises from falling countless times. Not to mention, running into things as well. His arms were sore from grabbing the railing with a death grip as he took baby step after baby step.

  
Four weeks of adjusting to a world that was not his own. It was strange to see eleven members together when you were already used to seeing eight. He forgot how noisy it could get when all of them were together. Surprisingly, the one that was always there to catch him was Kris. He totally did not count on that happening. It was unexpected to be honest. He looked up when he heard a knock on the door and a moment later, he saw Jongdae walk in while carrying a duffle bag.

  
He watched as Jongdae stop in front of him and empty the bag with disinterest. He lifted his gaze when Jongdae placed a set of clothes in front of him.

  
“Jing Xiu, change into this. Then I will do your hair afterward,” Jongdae said without preamble.

  
He looked down at clothes on his lap like he was seeing them for the first time. He took the shirt and examined it. It felt soft underneath his fingers and it had narrow cuffs. There were no buttons. Just some sash and a skirt that would probably stop at his knees.

  
“What is this? Is this even clothing? You give me a dress, yet you’re wearing jeans and a T-shirt,” he gave Jongdae a look of confusion.  
But, Jongdae gave him a bewildered look as if he had grown two heads.

  
Jongdae sat down on a chair next to the bed and took hold of his hands.

  
“So Junmyeon was not lying when he said you lost your memory,” Jongdae said.

  
**********

  
Jongdae let out a sigh when he saw Jing Xiu’s confused look. “Okay okay. What you are holding in your hands is called a ‘hanfu’. That’s what you wear most of the time when you don't have any schedules. Don't ask me what is what because I don't know. Now go change before your doppelganger arrive.”

  
Jongdae heard the bathroom door close. He covered his mouth as he began to cough violently into his palms. He took a wet tissue out and quickly cleaned the mess that was on his hand. He heard the door open and quickly re-checked to make sure that his hands were clean. He then walked to the closet and checked his appearance when he saw a spot of red on his lip so he quickly cleaned it.

  
“I hope I tied everything correctly,” he heard Jing Xiu say. He closed the closet door and walked over to take a swig from his water bottle. He was glad that Jing Xiu was distracted by the hanfu and did not notice the soiled tissue that he discreetly tossed into the garbage can.

  
With a smile, he walked over to Jing Xiu.

  
“Let me see,” he said as he pulled and tugged on cross-collar and retied the sash on Jing Xiu’s waist.

  
“I think I look weird,” Jing Xiu said worriedly.

  
“You look fine,” he assured Jing Xiu.

  
With a few more pulls and tugs, he finally deemed Jing Xiu ready.

  
“Come let me fix your hair now.”

  
“Jongdae, where is Jongin? Ever since I woke up, he has not come visit me.”

  
Jongdae froze when Jing Xiu asked about Jongin. He noticed that Jing Xiu was too busy playing with hairpins to notice his hesitation.

  
With a smile, he instead said, “it’s done.”

  
Jing Xiu looked up. “Why there is a mandu on my head with hairpins sticking out?”


	9. The decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyungsoo is leaving the safety of the hospital room and heading into the world that he know nothing about. He must muster up the courage that he know did not have in the first place.
> 
> Kris felt like he is going into war. with the news that Jing Xiu have woken from his 2 month coma have spread. The more fans and reporter he have to deal with. he hope that their hare brained plan that they cook up will work. if they fail they will have to face the wrath of one Kim Junmyeon. He prefer to face a army of sasaeng then face one piss off Kim Junmyeon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long to update.
> 
> Thank you and credit to emeraldgreen555 for being my beta.

Kyungsoo had the shock of his life when he looked up and realized that Jongdae had combed his hair into a mandu. Which crazy world did he land in that people wear a mandu on their head with hair pins sticking out? Before he could get over his shock, he heard a commotion outside his room. What the hell is going on now? The door then burst open with a figure stumbling in and landing right in front of him.

“Aish Ravi…do you have to push me like that?”

 “Don't blame me! Blame Luhan!” said the blond who was currently sprawled across the floor.

The deer-like boy walked into the room with a sheepish look.

“Sorry. Baek pushed me and I tripped and a domino effect happened.”

He watched the entire thing in disbelief. This EXO is no different than the EXO back home. Just as noisy. Just as chaotic. Just as insane. It’s even more now with all the 12 members together.

“Hey, Jing Xiu. Nice to see you awake,” a voice said from the floor. Kyungsoo looked down and saw feline eyes that only two members in EXO have. The one and only Huang Zitao is one of them and that was the person currently laying on the floor in an undignified heap. With an uncertain smile and a little wave, he said ‘hi’.

************

“Get off of me, Ravi. You’re heavy as fuck,” Tao exclaimed.

“Jesus, Tao. Give me a sec and stop pushing around,” Ravi retorted back.

“Is there something going on that I need to know,” a soft and light voice say.

“Oh my…” went a much softer voice.

Both Tao and Ravi looked up and saw Minseok and Leo standing by the door with shocked looks on their faces. It did not help that Luhan was laughing his ass off at the situation at hand. Both looked up at Jongdae and Jing Xiu. Jongdae made a face as if he had just eaten a bad lemon while Jing Xiu merely stood there like a deer in the headlights.  

Tao and Ravi had finally untangled themselves and stood up before straightening their clothing. Tao walked up and hugged Jing Xiu.  

“I’m glad to see that you’re awake and fine. We were all scared that you would never wake up,” Tao said seriously.

Ravi walked over to hug Jing Xiu as well.

“You have no idea how worried we are, Jing Xiu.”

Leo joined to give Jing Xiu a bone cracking hug.

“We had to drag Hakyeon away when you were in a coma. He has a schedule today so he cannot make it.”

With a smile and squeezing the other, he said, “Welcome back, Jing Xiu. We all miss you.”

*******************

With tears brimming in his eyes, he tentatively hugged Leo back. The love that he felt through the course of four weeks was overwhelming and a bit unexpected. Between his friends visiting and video-calling his parents, he realized that Dou Jing Xiu was very much loved and cared for in this world. He did not know how or why he ended up here in this world. He would do his best to get accustomed to it. No matter how many shocking revelations were tossed in his way.

“Seokjin and Suho are cooking up a storm back at the house. You have a huge feast waiting for you once you  return to the house,” Minseok said.

“Are you sure Suho is not going to poison someone by accident or set the kitchen on fire?” Kyungsoo said as he wiped his tears off his face with a chuckle.

“I’ve survived Suho’s cooking many times and have not even gotten a stomach ache,” Kris said proudly.

“God damn it Jongdae, I’m not going to be Jing Xiu’s doppelganger. Go find someone else.”

All the heads swerved towards the source of the commotion. Kyungsoo saw Byun Baekhyun standing slightly off to the side. Sporting a pout, Baekhyun was still the same as ever, that was noisy as fuck. Baekhyun was wearing a hanfu just like him. From what he can tell, Jongdae had finished doing his hair. He was surprised that Jongdae did not tell Baekhyun to be quiet.

With an exasperated sigh, he said, “Come on Baek. You and Jing Xiu are similar in body shape. You’re the only one who can pull this off. We need to get Xiu out of the hospital without getting mobbed,” Jongdae said.    

“Humph,” Baekhyun sat back with a pout on his face.

He walked to Baekhyun and gave him a smile.

“Do it for me, Baekkie. I don't want to get mobbed. I just woke up from a coma. I don't think I can handle the mass of people waiting for me outside,” he said honestly. With another pout followed by a sigh Baekhyun reluctantly said, “Fine.”

“It’s nice to see Baek so talkative and energetic,” he said with a smile.

“Yes, it’s......nice to see Baek being so talkative,” Jongdae said after a moment of hesitation.

He noticed the hesitation and the brief sad look on Jongdae’s face. He grabbed hold of Jongdae’s arm.

“What’s wrong with Baekhyun?” he asked.

With a quick glance, Jongdae replied, “You’ll see when we get back to the house.”

***************

With a laugh, Jongdae clapped his hands.

“We have to get the show on the road.  Okay, Kris, Ravi, Leo and Tao, you guys will escort Baek to the car as planned. As for the rest of us, we will escort the real McCoy.”

Jongdae watched as the others fixed the cape on Baekhyun and slipped the hood on.

He walked to Baekhyun and held the mask out.

“Be safe, everyone. I don't want any of you to get hurt, okay? Kris, drive safely. Remember what Xing-ge has reminded us. Don’t hurt the fans. No matter how crazy or out of control they get.”

Kris walked over and clapped his hand on Jongdae’s shoulder.

“We get it. We will stay safe and sound. You and the rest stay safe too, okay?”

Kris looked around at everyone in the room. Is this what going to war feels like?

“Jing Xiu, see you in a bit.”

Kris gave Jing Xiu a hug.

“Okay guys let’s go. Baek no matter what happens, keep your head down, okay? Tao, go to the right, Ravi, to the left and Leo, you bring up the rear. Clear?”

With a deep sigh, he walked out the door with Baekhyun in the middle.

Tao and Ravi gave each other a thumbs up.

“Let’s do it!” Tao hollered.

“Jongdae,” Kris called out. “The moment I call you, you have exactly 10 minutes, 15 minutes tops to get Jing Xiu out, okay? Use it wisely.” With that, Kris marched out with the others trailing behind.

************

The silence of the room was suffocating. Everyone was sitting on pins and needles. No one knew if the crazy plan would work at all. The only thing that they can do was to wait. The seconds ticked by with no call from Kris.

“Did the plan work or not?” Minseok asked nervously.

“What happened to them? A traffic accident? Traffic jam? Give us something…ugh,” Luhan leaned back against his chair.

The phone clasped around Jongdae’s hand started ringing. Everyone looked at the phone, hoping and praying that it was Kris calling.

Jongdae took one look at the phone screen. He sat back with a frustrated sigh.

“It is a sasaeng,” Jongdae said.

Less than a minute later, the phone rang again.

“Oh come on. What the fuck is their problem?” Luhan exclaimed.

He impatiently snatched the phone from Jongdae. Everyone’s jaws dropped when Luhan started cursing into the phone.

“Look bitch, I’m going to report you for harassment,” he shouted into the phone.

Suddenly, Luhan had a sheepish look on his face. Everyone shared a curious look at the sudden change.

“Uh, hi Duizhang. Sorry for cursing at you. Yes, yes we will leave immediately. See you back at house. Okay bye,” Luhan turned around and saw that everyone was either snickering or laughing.

“Oh shut up,” Luhan say.

**************

Jing Xiu watched as everyone got up and started packing. Grabbing things here, putting things there. He is leaving  the safety of the hospital room. Leaving the place - the only place that he knew. He went over to Luhan.

“Here I will take this,” he said as he took the bag from Luhan. As soon he had it, in a split second, someone took it from him.

“Dou Jing Xiu, behave yourself,” he threw a small smile when he realized who was the person who took the bag from him.

“Minseok, come on give it back to me. I want to help so at least let me carry my own bag.”

“No Jing Xiu. Mama will have my head if he finds out,” Minseok responded.

“You guys still call Suho ‘Mama’?” he asked.

“Yep, mostly to annoy him to be honest. And to drive him nuts. Since Suho has not figured out which ‘Mama’ we are using,” Minseok replied with a laugh.

He gave a small smile. Minseok gave him a light tap on the shoulder.

“Let’s go,” he said.

Jing Xiu watched as one by one, the members walked out of the room all quiet as a mouse. He put the cape on and walked toward the door. He turned around and glanced around the room one last time. He then looked at bed that he used woke up in everyday. He looked at the chair and the window sills that he sat on as he looked out on to the garden down below. He looked at the closet that once held all his clothes. He turned and looked at the door that led to a world that he knew nothing about.

His hand hovered over the door handle. Not sure of what to do. He was scared and unsure. He wanted to stop time so that he could forever stay in here. Also, he knew that he had to face reality with courage that he did not know that he had. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the handle and opened the door to the unknown. Stepping out of the room, he saw all of them waiting for him.

“What took you so long to come out?” Jongdae asked.

“Are you ready to go?” Minseok asked.

With a smile, he answered, “Sorry I took so long.  I was making sure nothing gets left behind that’s all.”

With another smile, he said, “Let’s go home.”

 


End file.
